Insecurities and working in cosmetics.

I’ll always say that fate brought me the opportunity of my makeup artistry course.  It happened at exactly the right time with the perfect price point.  And it’s brought me so much success and fun and career opportunities.

But makeup is a tricky thing.  I have two sisters who are beautiful and most importantly, natural.  And until I started my makeup course I believed the same of myself.

There are so many times in my life when I think back to how insecurities about my looks became a part of my life and how sad it makes me to think of how confident I was before these unfortunate circumstances.

When I was in seventh grade health class, we arrived at the topic of confidence and insecurites relating to appearance.  At age 13 I was one of the least developed girls in my grade, I had no interest in dating and even less interest in fashion or makeup.  Pretty much I had no way of relating to the other girls in my class.  The teacher that day did something so detrimental to my confidence and it was such a simple mistake! She told us to write down 5 things about ourselves that we love, relating to appearance and personality.  I remember thinking “well I don’t wanna seem full of myself so Ill pretend I’m having trouble thinking of 5 but….I can think of lots!”  And then…she told us to write down 5 things we didn’t like about ourselves.  Who the fuck asks a bunch of 13 year old girls going through puberty to do a thing like that!  Well since I was an innocent little child still, I couldn’t think of one single thing.  Unfortunately, that opened the flood gates for me to start watching for things that bothered me.

Next thing you know, I’m angry with my crooked knees for not fitting properly into the skinny jean trend.  I’m on video chat with a friend of my older sisters and she says “omg you literally have the biggest nose ever”.  And my best friend convinced me to put on mascara saying something along the lines of it makes all the difference or I should never leave the house without it.

Fast forward to the year after graduating High School and starting my makeup course.  There are sooo many amazing things you can do with makeup.  So much creativity and art that can stem from makeup artistry talent.  My course was learning the basics and it focused largely on corrective makeup.

This means focusing on how to make the face as symmetrical looking as possible.  Also it includes contouring and highlighting different face shapes for optimal beauty.  It didn’t take me longer than one course to realize that all this time I’d thought I was pretty, from the cosmetics industry and fashion industry standards, I was a hot mess.

My face is completely asymmetrical.  And yes almost every single persons face is, but mine became glaringly obvious to the point it became torturous to sit for 3 hours a week in front of that mirror micro analyzing down to the shape difference of my eyebrows, how my hairline differed, and my teeth weren’t as straight as I’d thought.

It’s taken me years to build a new relationship with cosmetics.  Being back in the industry this year after working in other jobs, has made me realize I’m a whole different brand of the cosmetics industry.  I promote natural looks.  Minimal makeup.  Using makeup to build confidence but making sure to stay true to your looks and always encouraging makeup-less days.

As amazing and talented as all these girls I work with or tutorial YouTubers I see are, I’m content to rock the natural look.  And I always see the beauty in the before look as well as the after.

I know this post had nothing to do with veganism, but it was just something weighing on my mind.  While scrolling through my vegan social media, it’s so amazing to see such natural beauties and how many vegan cosmetics and skin care options there are out there.  I’ve started to use a few and can’t wait to post my reviews about them on here.

Follow me on instagram through @gonevegan_ for photos of my day to day meals and cosmetics I’d recommend.

And remember to love yourselves. Xo.

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